Coming home has been quite the journey. At times I have much rather have been in Africa, it just seemed so much easier there. God was what I had to solely depend on every second, worshipping got me through the next day, and I could never function without journaling and reading scripture before the day began.
In Africa, things were simplistic. We ate the same 5 different things everyday, wore the same chlothes everyday, and always had a child to hold. It was so easy. I hate to say easy, because at the time, sometimes all I could think of was what food I wish I could eat at the moment, or what I would be doing if I was with my family. But now that I think about it, in Africa God is the focus of your life of all the little moments, he is the reason for your joy all the time, because what else could be the source? In America, we have a billion distractions, we have built up this habit of independent thinking, an additude that we can survive without God. We forget that it is he who has given us life, and keeps our breath in our lungs.
I tell you all this because I am falling back into it. It is incredibly frustrating, and to keep Africa less like a dream is hard. It has become so surreal its rediculous. I just try to remember Sumaya's ears, Henry's devious smile, PT's obnoxious phone ringtone, and the awkward moments with Babboon. I try to remember relying on God to heal my headache, and not just walking to the tylonol bottle, praying for "airy bread" and thanking God for the electricity, when it worked.
I want "his presence to be all I seek, all I want and all I need" as we used to sing in Africa.
I am jsut babbling, but at least I am writing. I made chocolate chip cookies today. We still don't know any of out neighbors so I thought this would be a good way, (and less awkward) to say hello! I got the recipe off Real Simple. There is just something so comforting about baking and cooking. At least for me, I just really enjoy always just having to add some flour, an egg, chocolate chips,vanilla, and a little sugar and yeilding something so sweet. Right now that is really nice, compared to the unpredictable life that I am in the midst of.
they were delicious!
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