Merci

It is thanksgiving.

Blessed is something that I am feeling a little overwhelmed with right now.
God has shown me so much. He has given me so much. and I am overwhelmed with gratitude.
I have been filled with his love, I have been searching after his provision and guidance, and I am trusting him.
He has blessed me abundantly with a Dad and a Mom who love me, two brothers and my dear sister.
He has kept me safe, warm and protected me, never giving me more than I can handle.
Our God is so good. But most of all he has given us freedom. glorious freedom from this dark world, and promises joy and hope and peace and love! He is Sovereign, He is alive and that is what I am thankfull for.

the red dirt is fading

Every week there is always one day where I wake up for school and I begin to ache. Not physically hurt, but almost. It is mainly in my heart, I get overwhelmed with a need to just hold one childs hand not the 10 that would straddle you like in Africa. I feel homesick, that deep ache of missing people you love.

I really just miss them.

one month

So I have so far been back at school for 3 whole days. (and a month since Africa.) I have already written a paper, have math homework I have yet to complete and detention. bad beginning right?
I also cannot get Africa off my mind.
The other day I got up and went to the bathroom, and thought Oh My Goodness, I have almost forgotten how lucky I am to have the lovely porcelain potty to use. Then I got freaked out. I am forgetting.
I thought what more things am I going to forget? What more things am I going to let go and get lost in my head and be replaced by this mindless world I live in.
I am sick of it, I am confused, I am tired. At lunch the people I sat by the first day, whom I have found out picked up drinking (and I thought it was bad before!) all they talked about were empty things. Who slept with who, who drank what, and what was going to happen this weekend. I was so disturbed, I tried to talk to another girl, who I have known before and begin and conversation, but I might as well have been talking to a wall. no one listens. They all just talk, talk and talk, and don't look around. They don't see the bigger picture. The world outside of here is so huge, I have the priviledge to see a beautiful part of God's creation, a whole entire new place full of joy and the most beautiful people I have ever seen. They don't understand that it is out there it is not real to them as it has become real to me. It has become hard for me to be here. It has been hard for me not to isolate myself I have started to do that with my team mates, the ones I really should be talking praying with the most. It just hurts, to think of what I left, to think that it is gone, and what I have to come back to. The pettyness of it all.
I have found joy in the Lord, in friends and in reading Gods word. I remember that the Lord has put me back here for a reason, and I try to remember to have peace that God has a plan and to have faith in it. I remember coming back home and becoming so excited, SO excited, because I knew what a mission field school will be. I am trying to remember this excitement, to really be prayerfull about this.
it says in Romans 10:14
"How then can they call on the one they have not believed in? and how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? and how can they hear without someone telling them? "
The gospel is such great news, such exciting news it makes me giddy when I here it. WE ARE SET FREE from this world, there is a way to life, to real life!!
Romans 8:21
creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God.
in Jeremiah 20:9 it says
But if I say "I will not mention him or speak anymore in his name," his word is in my heart like a fire a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in, indeed I cannot.

chocolate chip cookies

I have been home from Africa for over two weeks. I know, I have yet to post on my blog. I have decided to blog frequently esp. when school begins.
Coming home has been quite the journey. At times I have much rather have been in Africa, it just seemed so much easier there. God was what I had to solely depend on every second, worshipping got me through the next day, and I could never function without journaling and reading scripture before the day began.
In Africa, things were simplistic. We ate the same 5 different things everyday, wore the same chlothes everyday, and always had a child to hold. It was so easy. I hate to say easy, because at the time, sometimes all I could think of was what food I wish I could eat at the moment, or what I would be doing if I was with my family. But now that I think about it, in Africa God is the focus of your life of all the little moments, he is the reason for your joy all the time, because what else could be the source? In America, we have a billion distractions, we have built up this habit of independent thinking, an additude that we can survive without God. We forget that it is he who has given us life, and keeps our breath in our lungs.
I tell you all this because I am falling back into it. It is incredibly frustrating, and to keep Africa less like a dream is hard. It has become so surreal its rediculous. I just try to remember Sumaya's ears, Henry's devious smile, PT's obnoxious phone ringtone, and the awkward moments with Babboon. I try to remember relying on God to heal my headache, and not just walking to the tylonol bottle, praying for "airy bread" and thanking God for the electricity, when it worked.
I want "his presence to be all I seek, all I  want and all I need" as we used to sing in Africa.
I am jsut babbling, but at least I am writing. I made chocolate chip cookies today. We still don't know any of out neighbors so I thought this would be a good way, (and less awkward) to say hello! I got the recipe off Real Simple. There is just something so comforting about baking and cooking. At least for me, I just really enjoy always just having to add some flour, an egg, chocolate chips,vanilla, and a little sugar and yeilding something so sweet. Right now that is really nice, compared to the unpredictable life that I am in the midst of.

they were delicious!

heres the recipe...

This is Mom updating. 
I got this email from Molly--

MOMMY! I got SOOO sick on saturday, I threw up 6 times, and today I finally was able to eat, I am stll really weak, and can't do much besides sleep. soo pray for my strength. I miss you alot.

then--
I think it is food poisoning, I ate a small piece of corn offered by child (long story) and spit it out when I went outside---or I may have just gotten a virus---or food poisoning. I am feeling better, just tired. I know it isnt malaria, bc the girls who had malaria had diff. symptoms.

and finally--
Thanks mom, also thank you for the questions, and feel free to give me more scripture. I love you sooo very much, let Daddy know I love him too.

Of course I was worried but not too much.  Sounds like she is recovering. 
The scripture from Zephaniah 3:17 came to mind-
"I am with you, I am mighty to save. I will take great delight in you.  I will quiet you with My love.  I will rejoice over you with singing." 
Molly gave me a piece of art that has this verse in it.  I find it very comforting.
At one time the last sentence was what meant so much but today His promise to quiet me with His love was what I took comfort in. 

Jambo!

Greetings from Uganda! I am so excited to post, right now I am in a cramped internet cafe, and listening to the bustling city of Bugiri. I am having so much fun. I have fallen in love with Africa. The people are so joyous and the foo is delicious.
everyday we do some sort of ministry/evangelism. Today we travled to a village close to Bugiri and played with children at Hope orphanage and school. We played with the children, held them, and listened to them sing and dance. I had such an amazing day. I have not had "Africa Belly" yet, and thank goodness no Malaria!
As  I said earlier, I am in love with Africa. The women wear beautiful clothing, the children are so much fun--and just want to be held.



Well good bye for now, hopefully soon I will be able to post again.
----and you will get some pics when I come back to the states!


XOXO Molls

Safe Landing

Mom is going to guest post for Molly while she is in Uganda.  I hope she does not mind.
I just got the email that says they have landed safely in Uganda.  I didn't realize that I had been holding my breath until I read it and felt a wave of relief wash over me. 
The itinerary states the group would have landed about 10:15 pm local time on June 21, from there they will travel to the ministry site.  I don't know how far that might be.  I bet they are really tired though. 
It is so hard to think of her being on the other side of the earth!  I am so excited for her!

Blahhh-OG

I have been thinking a lot about this blog, and not knowing what to write. My mom kind of forced me into creating something to send her friends updates on my Africa mission trip. She thought of creating a newsletter, but a blog is so much easier (I thought). I have had experience in blogging through my sister's blog Little Boat, and my tumblr. These were fun and I loved blogging for Lexie, so I decided to get my own blog on blogger. I have decided that this blog is going to consist of everything I love. Not just about Africa--which was the original plan. I want to show what I cook, my daily musings, what I have worn, and just what is on my mind. I hope you all don't mind!

So this week I have been incredibly lazy. Other than packing up the house to move this weekend I have been a first class couch potato this week! I keep reminding myself to soak it up, because I won't be able to do this for an entire month. This excuse has helped me justify my laziness.

The one thing I have done productive this week is start reading a book, Forgotten God by Francis Chan. Chan is the author that also wrote Crazy Love in case you have read that (if you haven't I highly reccomend it!). Forgotten God is about how in our society the Holy spirit has become "forgotten" or neglected. It has been an interesting book--and encouraging.

One of the points that really convicted me so far is--

"basically what difference does your presence make?" pg91

I have had this discussion quite a bit in my bible studies. When I hear this I think of Africa. A lot of times people go and they perform a service to people like feeding the hungry or helping the hurting, While all this is good and Jesus tells you to do this, what ends up happening is you have just performed a service project. Nobody met Jesus, and no names were written in the book of life. I have done so many service projects and have volunteered, but never once have I sat down and talked about the Lord to the people I have helped. So my presence makes no difference if I don't go and follow out the great commission--to go and make disciples. I desperately don't want this to be the case in Africa.

I will continue with my book talk as I continue in the book, but for now I am off to make chocolate peanut butter cookies for the kind gentlemen helping us move to our new house!

16 days

So today I have to write some thank you notes and form a packing list. I wish I knew exactly what I need to bring--I hat forgetting things--but I also hate overpacking.

Isaiah 58

“Shout it aloud, do not hold back.
   Raise your voice like a trumpet.
Declare to my people their rebellion
   and to the descendants of Jacob their sins.
² For day after day they seek me out;
   they seem eager to know my ways,
as if they were a nation that does what is right
   and has not forsaken the commands of its God.
They ask me for just decisions
   and seem eager for God to come near them.
³ ‘Why have we fasted,’ they say,
   ‘and you have not seen it?
Why have we humbled ourselves,
   and you have not noticed?’    “Yet on the day of your fasting, you do as you please
   and exploit all your workers.
⁴ Your fasting ends in quarreling and strife,
   and in striking each other with wicked fists.
You cannot fast as you do today
   and expect your voice to be heard on high.
⁵ Is this the kind of fast I have chosen,
   only a day for people to humble themselves?
Is it only for bowing one’s head like a reed
   and for lying in sackcloth and ashes?
Is that what you call a fast,
   a day acceptable to the LORD?
 ⁶ “Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
   and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
   and break every yoke?
⁷ Is it not to share your food with the hungry
   and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—
when you see the naked, to clothe them,
   and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?
⁸ Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
   and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness will go before you,
   and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.
⁹ Then you will call, and the LORD will answer;
   you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.
   “If you do away with the yoke of oppression,
   with the pointing finger and malicious talk,
¹⁰ and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
   and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness,
   and your night will become like the noonday.
¹¹ The LORD will guide you always;
   he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
   and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
   like a spring whose waters never fail.
¹² Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins
   and will raise up the age-old foundations;
you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls,
   Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.
 ¹³ “If you keep your feet from breaking the Sabbath
   and from doing as you please on my holy day,
if you call the Sabbath a delight
   and the LORD’s holy day honorable,
and if you honor it by not going your own way
   and not doing as you please or speaking idle words,
¹⁴ then you will find your joy in the LORD,
   and I will cause you to ride in triumph on the heights of the land
   and to feast on the inheritance of your father Jacob.”
            For the mouth of the LORD has spoken.


When I read this 2 months ago, my jaw dropped. This is what I want my life to be about. I have not sure about going into missions or what I want to do after high school, but I know I want to take care of people. I want to be with the lonely, feed the hungry, show broken people their worth. I just want to follow Christ. This is my goal, this is my hope. It is in Christ, and that is what I want my life to be about. I am leaving in seventeen days for Africa. I am so incredibly excited and nervous. I do not know exactly all of the ins and outs of what we will be doing there but I know we will be showing the love of Jesus and thats all that matters.

Thank you to everyone who have given in order for me to go. I can't explain to you how much you have blessed me. I am so grateful for everything. God has provided and he has provided more tahn enough. I am completely in awe! I would have never even imagined this happening, that God would really provide, but he did. He has met my needs and beyond so that others can go on missions similar to mine.

-----molls

24 DAYS

24 days untill I am off! It is comign fast, and I almost wish it would slow down because I know it will go so fast. God has provided  generously, I cannot believe I doubted or even thought for once that he might not provide. I have learned so much from this experience it is mind blowing, and I am just so ready to see everything else he has in store. I am trusting that I will be safe in Uganda, that has been a scary thing to think about, but I know he works good in all things and that he will be by my side the entire time. However, that is a thing I think is becoming more scary--- I feel vulnerable mostly because my family and friends won't be there to protect me. I am excited though, I know I will be around an awesome group of girls and leaders (I have talked to a lot of them over Facebook). They all have been incredibly encouraging, and it has been the greatest blessing to talk to them.
well thats all I can think of. I am getting ready to go on a backpacking trip this week and maybe get a small taste of what Africa will be like (maybe roughing it to a small extent :) )

XOXO Molls

weekend

So this weekend we had workship weekend. It was a very neat experience and I most definitely stepped out of my comfort zone! I was one of the speakers  the two others were my friends, and they both spoke before me. I was definitely nervous. I spoke about what God has been showing me  lately. Mostly about trusting him and surrendering to his will. I have been blessed profusely through this process and trip, I can't imagine what will happen when I get back and I cannot wait to see.
One of the neat things I was able to experience was on sturday everyone went of three missions. One for biulding and repairing something (I dont remember) A kids carnival at a refugee apartment complex, and a sports camp at another refugee apartment. The last one was the event I was able to help out. It was so incredible, I met 3 girls my age from Kenya, and a little boy from Uganda! It was so neat to here their point of view of Uganda, and America. They really were thankful for their circumstances. Now they were not in beautifull condos or a mansion, they were in the poorer part of nashville, and in refugee apartments! It made me realized how blessed I am and how much God has given me. I am so happy I was able to experience what I did this week end it was incredible.

¹⁵ Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. ¹⁶ Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. ¹⁷ And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

colossians 3:15-17

almost there

I have less than 4 months to go untill I go to Africa. I am excited, I am nervous, I am stressed, I am overwhelmed, and I am gratefull. Every time I become weary I remind myself how much God loves me and is behind me. I have began to grow assurance in His will, and I am trying to let go and surrender it to him everyday. It is most defintely a battle, I am stubborn, and it is really scary but He's the one who made it happen. I have assurance he will see it through.

This is a video of Kampala, The capital of Uganda, and what I have heard is similar to Busia, the place I will be going.